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update!

yesterday was a special day for me. i visited almost home to drop off the cheque! i met and caught up with the house manager, the lovely laurie morgan, who is pictured here at the left with tenzin and me.

before we arrived, i got a strange feeling. it felt like drunken butterflies had somehow become trapped in my stomach. i couldn't quite pinpoint the exact cause, but the thought of returning to the place i hadn't visited in two years kind of made me nervous. if i'm being completely honest, i was worried i'd experience an embarassing flood of emotions since that is where i spent three of the hardest weeks of my life. the flashes of memories i have of that moment in time are a confusing mess of emotional opposites: scared stiff mixed with comfort, tears mixed with hope, loneliness mixed with elation. but the constant in all of that was the place that gave me what i needed at the time - almost home.

as it turns out, there was no need for my nerves. as soon as i walked through the familiar bright yellow door and saw the warm smile on laurie's face, i was immediately put at ease. the happiness i felt in reaching what i consider the real official end of this project filled me with a feeling of accomplishment. the past few months of personal self-challenge and sacrifice was all worth it.
i - we - really did make a difference.

and as i walked down the stairs away from the amazing home with the bright yellow door, i set the butterflies and the past free...

*****

have you been wondering about the dresses? the shopping? the ugly betty hair? the blog? here goes...

1) no, i haven't worn the dresses. will i ever? it's looking doubtful at this point, but i can't quite bring myself to get rid of them. i believe it's something to do with a symbolism of sorts. their future is still undetermined as of yet. i am just grateful to be able to wear whatever i want again, especially considering the weather here this summer has rivaled the hotness of jordan catalano circa 1994.
2) yes, i've been shopping. as with the great vegetarian experiment of 2009 whereby i still get excited when i eat meat of any kind, my shopping desires have been a bit insatiable. i must constantly physically stop myself from doing it. something about deprivation just sends me into sensory overload when i am able to return to my old habits. i have recently been banned from internet shoe shopping.
3) i finally took my embarassing self-cut bangs to the hairdresser a couple of days ago. ugly betty has left the building for now at least. after washing out my blowout from the other day, i realize that after waiting over a year to cut my hair and paying $30+, i now apparently have the exact same ugly betty style but two inches shorter all over. the hairdresser was very nice, however, and told me my bangs weren't actually that bad - although when i asked how much she charges for just a bang trim, she says it's free since she'd rather do it herself than have to fix a botched job. uh, lesson learned. from now on, scissors are for sewing, making cool paper projects and all non-hair-related activities.
4) and finally, what about the blog? its future, like the dresses, is still a bit undetermined. i have never had an audience for my writing before. i might go somewhere else incognito or i might come right back here when i'm ready to write again. it might be tomorrow, it might be a year from now. hey, what can i say? if you know me at all, i'm indecisive. woman of mystery, yeah that's me.

what i do know for certain is that The Husband can rest easy: i am hailing this as the official end of the extreme personal challenges segment of my life. amen.

2 comments:

Vanessa said...

Congratulations on such a wonderful accomplishment! It was no small task! Giving back to an organization that gave so much to you must feel so wonderful.

Have fun shopping! :)

P.S. Happy belated 2nd Birthday to Tenzin. Hope to see you guys soon.

Anonymous said...

congratulations, sis on finishing! i LOVED this project (probably more than you did!)i miss reading your writing already!
we could always re-make the brown dress into something funkier, like a hat or bag or outfit for tenzin!