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day sixteen - part two

switching things up a bit here today...today's post is part of the the girl who's great experiment writing contest. she's giving all money raised from our entries fees for this to help haiti. i just couldn't sit by and listen. there are too many people out there in the world who need help.

the following is my personal story and why i am trying to raise my own funds through this website for almost home
*****
you came to me by surprise. from the time i met you, the past became a blur. the present faced me crystal clear. the future is what i grasp at as best i can...

friday night. the plan: our last adult night's hurrah. heading to a concert then to a friend's place for the night. but things take a sideways turn and flip my world upside down. while picking up The Husband from work, my water breaks...

we turn the car around. heading home, away from the city lights. soaking wet and panicking...standing clothed in the cold bathtub...trying to reach the midwife...rushing to the hospital...rushing...rushing...rushing...

do i need a wheelchair? no. yes, get me the wheelchair. yellow walls. nice ladies in blue uniforms. help me please. suddenly, i'm staying at the hospital until the baby comes. how long will that be? why don't they know? but he's not due for six more weeks...

the rushing in my ears. the world's still spinning. the moon's still in the sky. my baby's still inside. a bit shook up, but he's got his own plan for this world. this baby's got a plan.

sunday morning. it's early, but this baby's on his way. call The Husband. the baby's on his way now. rushing to the delivery room. do i want drugs? no. yes, give me the nitrous. as much as i want? too much. just enough. and then i see you. and then you're gone. swept away by a group in blue. over in the corner, just out of sight. just out of my sight but my eyes don't leave the group in blue. i am shaking. finally you're brought over to me and my heart swells up like an ocean tide. "here's your son", i'm told. and just as i reach out for you, you're swept away. rushing rushing rushed to another room.

monday afternoon. i'm discharged from the hospital. no more beds. i have to go, you have to stay. but you are a piece of me. i can't leave you, but i have no choice. i am broken in two. you are tied with wires to your machine. you are tiny but oh so brave and strong and peaceful. if you can do it, i can do it. i will be as strong as i can. but when i'm not by your side, i am not strong. i am in pieces. i am missing the most important piece.

we are a family now, instantly separated as fast as we are made. this was not part of the plan. your dad stays at home almost an hour away. you stay in your incubated cocoon in the hospital. i stay at almost home. thank god for almost home, a house fifteen minutes from the hospital. a fifteen minute walk i take about four times a day. fifteen minute increments spent walking towards you, walking away from you. daydreaming about you. stressing about you. thinking about you.

three weeks later. the longest three weeks of my life. surrounded by a circle of doctors in white and students in blue, clipboards out, a blur of medical jargon. but all i hear floating above the din...you are coming home. you are coming home.


*****
today's look, holding on tight to my baby:

long-sleeved t-shirt: value village, about five months old ($7)
skirt over dress: kilborn's, two months old ($45)
ribbon around waist: (free)
winter boots: aldo from last year (about $75)
brown knee socks: zellers ($3)

grand total:
about $130.08


*****
if you're so inclined to vote for my story for the contest, i would love it if you could support my entry! voting begins monday for 24 hours - only one vote per computer. visit http://thegirlwho.squarespace.com/ this monday and add a comment saying you vote for me. thanks!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

you are amazing, christine. i LOVED your story, brought tears to my eyes. so poetic and touching. you are truly gifted and talented at writing. i will vote for you on every computer i can find!
love you
sis

Spawny666 said...

An awesome post. Thank you for taking the time to share your despair and then joy with the rest of us!

Spawny

Rt100VT said...

This is an awesome post, Christine. Enjoy him as I know you will. They grow so quick, so I look forward to hearing some updates now and then!

The Girl Who said...

Aw Christine, you're such a sweetie! What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for donating! And I am so excited that you're doing the dress project!

Keenie Beanie said...

Great idea raising money in this way for Almost Home. Thanks for sharing your story.

novemberjuliet said...

I totally have blogger template envy - this is a great design. I enjoyed your writing here and the concept of your blog. Your son's a cutie.

Daycare Lady said...

This is so beautiful. And what a wonderful charity Almost Home is. I wish you the best of luck with your project. I hope your lovely little one is healthy now.

mamachu said...

Thanks to all of you for stopping by and for your kind comments!